Monday, July 6, 2009

Short Jokes

# He is so dumb, he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!

Q: Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake?
A: Because he always slobbers out the candles!

# Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"
"I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."

# "I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you."
"A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?"
"That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!"

Q: What's the best way to find out an elephant's age?
A: Check his driver's license.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party?
A: Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

Q: What are your two favourite times to party?
A: Daytime and night-time!

Q: Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy?
A: He was celebrating his girthday!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Jimmy who?
Jimmy some ice cream and cake! I'm starving!

Q; What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles?
A: The fire department.

Q: What does the hungry monster get after he's eaten too much ice cream?
A: More ice cream!

Q: What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle?
A: The candle is a thousand times brighter!

# "Were any famous men born on your birthday?"
"No, only little babies."

# For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater.
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!

Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A: Because people kept toasting him!

# Cat: "What did you get him for his birthday?"
Dog: "Pant . . . pant!"
Cat: "Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"