Tuesday, July 7, 2009

50th Birthday Poems Jokes

When you want to write funny 50th birthday poems or jokes for your loved one, here are some one liners to work with. So, get out your pen and paper, and start thinking about what you'd like to say. Mull it over for a while, and get your creativity flowing. "Over 50" jokes are usually expected at a birthday party for the newly crowned fifty year old. These are just some ideas that you can use to come up some newer variations.

  • I much prefer being over the hill to being under it.
    - Bruce Lansky

  • The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

  • "Don't worry about senility," my grandfather used to say. "When it hits you, you won't know it."
    -Bill Cosby

  • You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

  • First you forget names,
    then you forget faces,
    then you forget to pull your zipper up,
    then you forget to pull your zipper down.
    - Leo Rosenberg

  • Your back goes out more than you do.

  • The Senility Prayer
    God grant me the senility
    to forget the people I never liked,
    the good fortune to run into the people I do,
    and the eyesight to tell the difference.

  • The cardiologist's diet:
    if it tastes good, spit it out.
    - Paulina Borsook

  • I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
    then pick up the paper and read the"o-bits."
    If my name isn't there, then I know I'm not dead.
    I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

  • Your best friend is dating someone half their age ..... and isn't breaking any laws.

  • At my age I don't care if my mind starts to wander- just as long as it comes back again.
    - Mike Knowles

  • Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.
    - Glenn Dorenbush

  • You sing along with the elevator music.

  • When you can finally afford the rings you want, you'd rather no one noticed your hands.
    -Lois Muehl

  • You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

  • Instead of thinking of 50th birthday party ideas, you’re talking about the price of gasoline!

  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

  • You take a metal detector to the beach.

  • You wear black socks with sandals.

  • A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
    - Henny Youngman

  • You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

  • You forgot that you already had your 50th birthday.

  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

  • Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

  • Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

  • “He that is not handsome at 20, nor strong at 30, nor rich at 40, nor wise at 50, will never be handsome, strong, rich or wise.” - George Herbert

  • You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
    -Ogden Nash

If you come up with any funny 50th birthday poems or jokes that you'd like to share with us, we'd be happy to put them on our website!