Short Jokes

# He is so dumb, he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!

Q: Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake?
A: Because he always slobbers out the candles!

# Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"
"I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."

# "I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you."
"A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?"
"That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!"

Q: What's the best way to find out an elephant's age?
A: Check his driver's license.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party?
A: Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

Q: What are your two favourite times to party?
A: Daytime and night-time!

Q: Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy?
A: He was celebrating his girthday!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Jimmy some ice cream and cake! I'm starving!

Q; What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles?
A: The fire department.

Q: What does the hungry monster get after he's eaten too much ice cream?
A: More ice cream!

Q: What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle?
A: The candle is a thousand times brighter!

# "Were any famous men born on your birthday?"
"No, only little babies."

# For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater.
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!

Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A: Because people kept toasting him!

# Cat: "What did you get him for his birthday?"
Dog: "Pant . . . pant!"
Cat: "Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"

Short Jokes

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!

Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When it's been sliced.

Q: How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
A: He has a whale of a party!

Q: What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
A: "Hi, Buster."

Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"

Q: Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Q: Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
A: In a cat-alogue!

Q: What did the big candle say to the little candle?
A: "You're too young to go out."

Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A: Because it was marble cake!

Q: What does a clam do on his birthday?
A: He shellabrates!

Q: How can you tell that you're getting old?
A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake, of course!

Q: What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake?
A: Shortcake!

Q: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
A: A birthday pheasant!

Man 1: "I got my wife a VCP for her birthday."
Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?"
Man 1: "No, a VCP ... Very Cheap Present!"

Q: Where does a snowman put his birthday candles?
A: On his birthday flake!

Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
A: Mice cream and cake!

Q: What party game do rabbits like to play?
A: Musical Hares.

Short Jokes

# When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.

# My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes - but where can you find a bloodshot tie?

# My wife refuses to use Inter Flora for people's birthdays. She says she doesn't think people would like margarine as a present.

# It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.


Q: What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
A: "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Next time, take off the candles."

Q: Did you hear about the flag's birthday?
A: It was a flappy one!

Q: Did you hear about the tree's birthday?
A: It was a sappy one!

Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
A: "Hey, what's eating you?"

Q: Did you hear about the dancer's birthday?
A: It was a tappy one!

"I guess I didn't get my birthday wish."
"How do you know?" ?
"You're still here!"

Q: Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
A: He wanted to have a birthday potty!

Q: What party game do rabbits like to play?
A: Musical Hares.

Q: What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!

"Did you go shopping for my birthday present?"
Yeah, and I found the perfect thing."
"What thing is that?"
"Nothing!"

"My birthday's coming"
Do you know what I need?"
"Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"